reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Houston, we have a squirter
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
