Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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