is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
