You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
