My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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