Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
