Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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