i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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