How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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