Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
