We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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