i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
