i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
