thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
