She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
did i just pee glitter
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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