All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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