In the future we'll all be gay
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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