This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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