just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
