I need help removing her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
