After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
