if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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