I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
