even my farts smell like vagina
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
