I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize