Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
