I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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