so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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