jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
