I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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