we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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