Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
