I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
