Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
