my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Drake has all the answers
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
