White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
