pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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