I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
