k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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