Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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