ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
