trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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