Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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