How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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