we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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