You're so nebulous sometimes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
