I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
organizing the empties. That sober.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
