dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
