Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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