When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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