like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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