What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
