And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
