Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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