Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
