Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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