Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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