did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
