let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Drake has all the answers
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
