so that wasnt chicken after all
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
